Priceless donation

I donated my frozen breast milk yesterday. And now I am sad. It's like a part of me that belongs to my baby was given away, lost. I know the baby who got it will benefit from it. But I am still upset that I let my mom stop me from giving it to Parker. Maybe it would have prevented his UTIs! I read in many sources that breastfeeding is the main weapon against those early UTIs. I am still upset with my mom. I told her yesterday that the lady picked up my milk for her baby. I don't think my mom realizes how precious breast milk is and how very very beneficial it is to the babies! My older sister and I were both on formula from the first day, and doctors back then never mentioned that breast milk is so beneficial. So when I encountered breastfeeding trouble, my mom's natural advice was formula. Now, after living with her for 5 months, I know that she says stuff before she even thinks, and that only when pushed, she will re-think and sometimes even change her mind (although she won't admit it). But back in October, I just followed her advice, without much questioning. So when she suggested we stop giving Parker my breast milk because it may cause his fussiness, I just did. And I was too scared to bring up giving him my milk again. Now I know that it was stupid, I shouldn't have felt that way. But it's too late, my milk is gone.

I told my mom yesterday that a woman will be coming to pick up my milk. I was hoping she will realize that breast milk is not just another way of feeding a baby. That women give their babies someone else milk because of how beneficial it is. Why did I not give my milk to my baby? I still don't know. :( I feel stupid for giving it away. Parker is not allergic to the milk, we know it. And now it would have been beneficial to him just as much as any other time. UGH! I have to stop thinking about it because I am getting upset with myself!

Almost 6 months: Sleeping through the night

Parker is almost 6 months (three days short). Everything is falling into place. He started falling asleep in his crib a few weeks ago and now this is pretty much the only way he falls asleep, even for naps during the day (actually during the day it takes him shorter to fall asleep, for some reason). And he now is starting to sleep long stretches of time too! He slept from 7 to midnight on Sat night, ate, and then slept until 5.50 am! He stirred and called for a pacifier a few times but went right back to sleep. Last night he slept from 8.30 till 2.45, ate, and then woke up 5.45. And I only had to give him his monius (paci) once, right when we went to bed and made some noise. My baby is sleeping through the night! And we didn't have to sleep train him!

That's right, after all this talk, we decided not to sleep train P. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to letting him cry at all, not even talking about leaving him to cry for several minutes! We didn't have to do it, though. I got inspired by some website and started thinking why is he waking up. We figured that it was because he got used to falling asleep with a bottle. And we were right! Once he learned to fall asleep w/o the bottle, he started sleeping longer periods of time, pretty much instantaneously. We would give him milk but when we saw that he was drifting off, we would take it away. He would wake back up and we would give him the bottle back until he was done. Then we would rock him to sleep. It was a bit hard the first two days, as he wouldn't fall asleep immediately, we had to rock him for 20-30 minutes at the time. But now he falls asleep really quickly and doesn't wake up at night but a couple of times!!