This has happened three weeks ago and was followed by a lot of exciting things so I am not going to be very detail oriented here. Right at the start the very nice technician asked if we wanted to find out the gender (we did, very much so). Unfortunately the baby wasn't willing to expose this little secret to us just yet so she went on to measuring everything and looking at all the details. Heart, lungs, kidneys, bones, all looked good and we were all happy. The baby looked great and moved a lot. We saw him sucking his thumb and stretching his legs. It took a little while (20-30 min or so) and at the end she went one more time for a "bathroom shot". And there it was. My baby's little penis, floating freely in the water! LOL. "It's a boy!", she said and I almost screamed "YES!" :)
We got some pictures (again, they are not great, those u/s technicians are just not the best photographers), she left and the doctor came. He said something that did make me worry a little. He said the baby looks great and healthy, the heart, the lungs and everything. The only thing is that he has a really small nose. He said the bone was clearly visible on the NT scan AND all other measurements+blood test returned really good results (1:1500 and 1:some other large number) so he is going to assume that the baby just has a small nose. I asked again if he is not at all worried and he said he considers it more interesting than worrisome. So we let it go. Until next day, of course. Dr. Google wasn't too gentle with me, everywhere I went people said that without nasal bone between 15 and 20 weeks 9 of of 10 children are born with Down syndrome. I panicked, cried all night, and said I wanted another u/s to see if the nasal bone is there. Then DH found a ton of articles saying that the nasal bone is a "soft marker" for Down, which basically means that it matters only if in conjunction with otherwise risky pregnancy. I googled some more and slowly acquired the same point of view. I guess my freak-out was partially due to the normal pregnancy hormone issues. The thought still comes to mind sometimes (if it's not an issue, why would the doctor mention it at all?) but I am not freaking out any more.
So it's a boy! We are ecstatic and so are my parents. DH said he kept saying either one would be great but then once we found out, he said he secretly wanted a boy all along. :) My parents have three daughters and two granddaughters, no boys on my side of the family so far. They asked me five times if we were sure it was actually a boy. :) DH has one brother and no sisters, but it will be the first grand baby on that side of the family so it's all good there too. :)
We also have been thinking about the name. After going through long lists we narrowed it down to about 10 (Alec, Anders/Anderson, Clayton, Desmond, Eliot, Liam, Milo, Nathan/Nathaniel, Parker) and then decided on The One: Parker. But don't tell anyone because we are not telling anyone besides the closest family. :)
We are still searching for a middle name. I really want a Polish one, to show that he is half Polish. But everything I pick turns out to be wrong for some reason. I like Antoni (a Polish version of Anthony) but DH says is too Italian. I like Kajtek (pron. kahy-tech) which is short from Kajetan, but my mom says it's a cat or dog's name. I downloaded and printed about 200 names off of a Polish name website and plan on having one picked up by the end of the week. :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
21w2d: Happy but a little overwhelmed
I have been pretty busy with all kinds of stuff and didn't get a chance to post for a while. I still owe you a post from the anatomy scan and the trip to Dominican Republic. But today is all about:
1. Changing jobs
2. Nanny/Au-pair/Day cares
3. Where and how to deliver
4. Maternity/paternity leave
5. Nursery decor
6. Registry
7. Home projects (deck/storage/blinds)
8. PMP
I warn you, this is going to be a long post.
1. I got an offer! Yay! They emailed me an official offer while we were in DR. A good (max) raise of 12%, training possibilities, and a fairly clear career path for the next several years made the decision a nobrainer. I am starting on May 9.
2. We are still planning on getting a Polish speaking nanny from Poland but are not sure if she will decide to come and how all the visa stuff will work out, so we are looking for option B. We went to visit a day care today. And here is how it went:
The place had good reviews on various message boards and the tuition is high, so our expectations were high as well. Unfortunately, we were absolutely not impressed. First of all, we waited 15 minutes at the door to get in. The lady on the phone mentioned that they have a staff meeting during that time so she will have to send someone to open the door for us. I offered to reschedule but she said it will be fine. When we came, another person was already waiting. He said he rang the bell and called for 15 min but nobody came. The guy left and we stayed. The lady came about 10 min later.
Second, all reviews said that the place is a bit corporate and sterile, so we expected super clean place. Maybe I am a clean freak but this place was far from feeling sterile. Not necessary dirty, but I would not call it very clean either.
On the positive side, the babies all sleep in their own cribs and all their food and other items are color labeled, so it looks like there would be no confusion. They also work with cloth diapers, which is another plus. They are also very flexible about schedule (each baby has their own schedule), and they take the kids out for walks/playground time twice a day. They showed us one of three infant rooms.
Back to the negatives though. Each room has 9 babies and 3 teachers. There was an adjacent room (the were divided by a half wall with sinks) with infants as well. During our 15 min visit, there was at least one baby at the time (two most of the time) constantly crying in the other room. I kept looking at one little boy who was sitting on the floor crying and he was never picked up! The ladies were busy with other children and never attended to the boy. I was shocked, as the teachers knew we were there and didn't even pretend to care. I think the boy finally stopped crying on his own. In the room we were in 5 out of 9 babies were asleep, two were held by two different teachers and given bottles, one was on the floor in a boppy, holding his own bottle, and one was sitting and playing on her own. Far from perfect but not too bad. The lady who answered our questions mentioned that this room has older children (although still infants) who are more independent. All in all, after looking at the price sheet ($1940/month), I think we won't even put our name on the waiting list.
We are going to visit another day care on Friday. This one is a little less expensive, the teacher-child ratio is 3:8 (as opposed to 3:9 or 1:3 at the first place), and have cameras connected to the internet so that the parents can see their children during the day. I hope this will be a better experience.
I also did some research on craigslist. It seems like there are some in-home day cares available. I need to make a list and call/visit those places to see if there is anything that we like, that would be able to accommodate us in case the au-pair doesn't work out and we are still waiting for a spot in a bigger day care.
3. Delivery. When in Dominican Republic I read Ina May Gaskin's Birth Matters and found out about some scary C-section and induction statistics. Before I got pregnant I never thought I would want to deliver naturally (just like I ask for Novocaine at the dentist office). But after reading Ina's book I changed my mind. I guess my body has failed me twice (when I miscarried) and now is the time to change that. I want to give my body another try to be natural and handle birth of our baby on it's own.
I am going to a information session at the birth center near us, which has great reviews. They have a birth home where you can deliver or they can assist you at your own home. I think we would choose the second option. I will know more after the tour tonight. I am still a bit weary of giving birth at home, in case something bad happens. But I am even more scared that at the hospital I will end up with Pitocin or forceps or C-section for no reason. I also want a midwife who is experienced and who can help me have a great experience giving birth. I want it to be beautiful and private, not like a medical surgery. My two previous babies were taken away from me in a sterile environment and I just don't want to go back there with this little one.
Unfortunately DH has a final today so he won't be joining me. But I am sure he can attend another information session in two weeks. I am doing it now because if we wait, we may have to get on a waiting list.
4. DH and I met with a maternity/paternity specialist here at the Board yesterday. The guy was very knowledgeable and well prepared. He confirmed what we already knew and we also learned a few new things. It looks like I won't be able to take more than 6 weeks off following the birth unless I want to draw from the annual leave. I have three weeks left and could use it if necessary in addition tot he 6 weeks. DH though can use 8 weeks of sick leave immediately after the baby is born, which he probably will. This would take us till about the end of October (depending when the baby decides to come out). Hopefully by this time my parents can be here already and stay till until the au-pair comes. Otherwise we will have to put our 3 month old in a day care, which I would like to avoid.
However, in that case, we would probably try to stay home an extra day a week using our annual leave. This combined with the flexible schedule (and every other Friday off) would allow us to be with the baby three out of five days a week. We would probably look for a part time nanny for the other two days.
5. I am making some progress on the nursery plan. We have a crib picked up and a couple of dressers to chose from (all white). (From now on I am going to say "I" instead of "we" because it seems fake as DH doesn't really give me much input at this point, due to his final. So it may all change once he finds out). I think we will go with beige/brown, orange/red, and green. We (actually we is used on purpose here) have decided that we will use the orange rug that is currently in the living room. We have wanted to replace this rug for a long time and it would fit perfectly. I am thinking light green walls and one wide orange/red stripe on each wall, centered behind each piece of furniture. I would like to hang DH's electric guitar on one of the walls. The guitar is black and white and would look great on the red stripe (the guitar is broken but he wants to keep it as it has sentimental value). The other stripes will get pictures b/w of us and perhaps some white shelves. Orange rug on dark brown floor should look simply gorgeous. I am super excited! All I need to do now is measure the room and figure out what piece of furniture will go on what wall.
6. I have started the registry a while ago and placed several small items on it. Recently I started doing research about big ticket items and have already selected:
- high chair: Boon Flair - Pedestal High Chair
- car seat: Chicco KeyFit 30 Infant Car Seat - Miro
- crib: Spot On Square Eicho Eco-friendly Crib, White
- portable crib w/changing station for the living room: Chicco 4 in 1 Lullaby LX Playard - Vega or Romantic
I also already have a whole bunch of small things that I am not going to list here.
7. Unfortunately I can't write about the rest of the items on my list as I need to leave in 5 minutes. But I already feel better that I am back in the blogging business. :)
Coming tomorrow: anatomy scan, gender, and name choices! :)
1. Changing jobs
2. Nanny/Au-pair/Day cares
3. Where and how to deliver
4. Maternity/paternity leave
5. Nursery decor
6. Registry
7. Home projects (deck/storage/blinds)
8. PMP
I warn you, this is going to be a long post.
1. I got an offer! Yay! They emailed me an official offer while we were in DR. A good (max) raise of 12%, training possibilities, and a fairly clear career path for the next several years made the decision a nobrainer. I am starting on May 9.
2. We are still planning on getting a Polish speaking nanny from Poland but are not sure if she will decide to come and how all the visa stuff will work out, so we are looking for option B. We went to visit a day care today. And here is how it went:
The place had good reviews on various message boards and the tuition is high, so our expectations were high as well. Unfortunately, we were absolutely not impressed. First of all, we waited 15 minutes at the door to get in. The lady on the phone mentioned that they have a staff meeting during that time so she will have to send someone to open the door for us. I offered to reschedule but she said it will be fine. When we came, another person was already waiting. He said he rang the bell and called for 15 min but nobody came. The guy left and we stayed. The lady came about 10 min later.
Second, all reviews said that the place is a bit corporate and sterile, so we expected super clean place. Maybe I am a clean freak but this place was far from feeling sterile. Not necessary dirty, but I would not call it very clean either.
On the positive side, the babies all sleep in their own cribs and all their food and other items are color labeled, so it looks like there would be no confusion. They also work with cloth diapers, which is another plus. They are also very flexible about schedule (each baby has their own schedule), and they take the kids out for walks/playground time twice a day. They showed us one of three infant rooms.
Back to the negatives though. Each room has 9 babies and 3 teachers. There was an adjacent room (the were divided by a half wall with sinks) with infants as well. During our 15 min visit, there was at least one baby at the time (two most of the time) constantly crying in the other room. I kept looking at one little boy who was sitting on the floor crying and he was never picked up! The ladies were busy with other children and never attended to the boy. I was shocked, as the teachers knew we were there and didn't even pretend to care. I think the boy finally stopped crying on his own. In the room we were in 5 out of 9 babies were asleep, two were held by two different teachers and given bottles, one was on the floor in a boppy, holding his own bottle, and one was sitting and playing on her own. Far from perfect but not too bad. The lady who answered our questions mentioned that this room has older children (although still infants) who are more independent. All in all, after looking at the price sheet ($1940/month), I think we won't even put our name on the waiting list.
We are going to visit another day care on Friday. This one is a little less expensive, the teacher-child ratio is 3:8 (as opposed to 3:9 or 1:3 at the first place), and have cameras connected to the internet so that the parents can see their children during the day. I hope this will be a better experience.
I also did some research on craigslist. It seems like there are some in-home day cares available. I need to make a list and call/visit those places to see if there is anything that we like, that would be able to accommodate us in case the au-pair doesn't work out and we are still waiting for a spot in a bigger day care.
3. Delivery. When in Dominican Republic I read Ina May Gaskin's Birth Matters and found out about some scary C-section and induction statistics. Before I got pregnant I never thought I would want to deliver naturally (just like I ask for Novocaine at the dentist office). But after reading Ina's book I changed my mind. I guess my body has failed me twice (when I miscarried) and now is the time to change that. I want to give my body another try to be natural and handle birth of our baby on it's own.
I am going to a information session at the birth center near us, which has great reviews. They have a birth home where you can deliver or they can assist you at your own home. I think we would choose the second option. I will know more after the tour tonight. I am still a bit weary of giving birth at home, in case something bad happens. But I am even more scared that at the hospital I will end up with Pitocin or forceps or C-section for no reason. I also want a midwife who is experienced and who can help me have a great experience giving birth. I want it to be beautiful and private, not like a medical surgery. My two previous babies were taken away from me in a sterile environment and I just don't want to go back there with this little one.
Unfortunately DH has a final today so he won't be joining me. But I am sure he can attend another information session in two weeks. I am doing it now because if we wait, we may have to get on a waiting list.
4. DH and I met with a maternity/paternity specialist here at the Board yesterday. The guy was very knowledgeable and well prepared. He confirmed what we already knew and we also learned a few new things. It looks like I won't be able to take more than 6 weeks off following the birth unless I want to draw from the annual leave. I have three weeks left and could use it if necessary in addition tot he 6 weeks. DH though can use 8 weeks of sick leave immediately after the baby is born, which he probably will. This would take us till about the end of October (depending when the baby decides to come out). Hopefully by this time my parents can be here already and stay till until the au-pair comes. Otherwise we will have to put our 3 month old in a day care, which I would like to avoid.
However, in that case, we would probably try to stay home an extra day a week using our annual leave. This combined with the flexible schedule (and every other Friday off) would allow us to be with the baby three out of five days a week. We would probably look for a part time nanny for the other two days.
5. I am making some progress on the nursery plan. We have a crib picked up and a couple of dressers to chose from (all white). (From now on I am going to say "I" instead of "we" because it seems fake as DH doesn't really give me much input at this point, due to his final. So it may all change once he finds out). I think we will go with beige/brown, orange/red, and green. We (actually we is used on purpose here) have decided that we will use the orange rug that is currently in the living room. We have wanted to replace this rug for a long time and it would fit perfectly. I am thinking light green walls and one wide orange/red stripe on each wall, centered behind each piece of furniture. I would like to hang DH's electric guitar on one of the walls. The guitar is black and white and would look great on the red stripe (the guitar is broken but he wants to keep it as it has sentimental value). The other stripes will get pictures b/w of us and perhaps some white shelves. Orange rug on dark brown floor should look simply gorgeous. I am super excited! All I need to do now is measure the room and figure out what piece of furniture will go on what wall.
6. I have started the registry a while ago and placed several small items on it. Recently I started doing research about big ticket items and have already selected:
- high chair: Boon Flair - Pedestal High Chair
- car seat: Chicco KeyFit 30 Infant Car Seat - Miro
- crib: Spot On Square Eicho Eco-friendly Crib, White
- portable crib w/changing station for the living room: Chicco 4 in 1 Lullaby LX Playard - Vega or Romantic
I also already have a whole bunch of small things that I am not going to list here.
7. Unfortunately I can't write about the rest of the items on my list as I need to leave in 5 minutes. But I already feel better that I am back in the blogging business. :)
Coming tomorrow: anatomy scan, gender, and name choices! :)
Monday, April 4, 2011
18w1d: It's always sad to hear...
... about others loosing their babies. Every time there is a new BFP on our MP board, anxiety crawls into my mind. Today was one of the dreaded days for a fellow board member. She was about 10-11 weeks along (exactly the same as I was when we lost our first), and very nervous about her first OB appointment, as they lost their PMP baby around the same time.
Every time I hear the horrible news like that, I can feel the same pain I did twice in my life. It's not my pain now, but I can feel it, for them. The crushed hopes that maybe this time it will work out. The disappointment of my own body failing me, yet again. And the fear, that maybe I will never...
And I still can't understand the purpose. It's just not fair. The women on the board already went through so much with their MP, and sometimes other miscarriages. Why does it happen again and again?
Amy, may you find the sense in it. And may you find peace.
Every time I hear the horrible news like that, I can feel the same pain I did twice in my life. It's not my pain now, but I can feel it, for them. The crushed hopes that maybe this time it will work out. The disappointment of my own body failing me, yet again. And the fear, that maybe I will never...
And I still can't understand the purpose. It's just not fair. The women on the board already went through so much with their MP, and sometimes other miscarriages. Why does it happen again and again?
Amy, may you find the sense in it. And may you find peace.
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