Sad day

Today I feel sad. A girl from the board who was a few weeks behind me just said in her very innocent post that she finally is out of the first trimester. It made me realize that, if my last baby didn't die, I would have been well out of the first trimester and going to Poland as a surprise, carrying another surprise in my belly. But this dream is gone. And I really hoped that this time everything would go well.

Got (what resembled) AF on Tuesday, but it turned out to be more like dark brown spotting (sorry for the TMI) and lasted only two days. Today I had even a bit of regular, white and creamy CM. This is very confusing. Was that supposed to be AF? Why was is so light? Is this because of scaring? I really hope it is not scarring. My first AF after MP was light and short but I could actually see blood. It was one day normal and the other was just spotting. This time it was only spotting for two days.

I think we should definitely try again this month. If we won't get preggo for three months I can go to the doc, say that we tried for 3 months, and want to get it checked out. If we wait, like Dr. SmartA suggested, we won't know for a long time.

It will be hard to spot O this month though, because we will be traveling overseas right around that time. Not only I may O later, but also, how do I track temp when I am in a timezone 6h ahead?! I really hope I can do it somehow.

It's only noon and I am ready to go, less than 5 hours left, but I do have a lot to do. Problem is, I can't really concentrate much on anything other than the baby and trying and AF and all this crazy stuff.

Ugh, I better go eat something.

On a positive note, I am enjoying the Boot Camp. Today was a good day and I did almost all exercises (aside from push-ups) and felt great. My stomach muscles are still hurting but not nearly as much as yesterday and on Wednesday, and I am not sore otherwise. I am debating whether I should go tomorrow. It's at 8 but it IS Saturday. I'm tempted but I know I can't possibly keep up working out 6 times a week forever! Unless we do NOT have children, of course, which is possible, but I don't want to think about it, because I promised myself I will imagine only bright future. So we will see. If I wake up on my own on time to go (which I probably will as I will be taking my temp at 6.30 am and probably won't be able to fall asleep after) I will go. If not, I will stay and enjoy sleeping in and snuggling with DH. :)