5w4d: I almost forgot!

We are 99% done with our bathroom renovations. It looks absolutely B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! All we need now is the tub door. We have it already, it only needs to be installed. Unfortunately there are some difficulties with the installation but nothing we can't overcome. I hope we will be totally done by the end of the weekend.



One thing has been making me feel guilty today. There are two girls on MP board that are miscarrying. I feel so sorry for them as I know the feeling is - went through it myself, twice. But a part of me is thinking: betters statistical chances for me! And then I feel horrible for even having that thought! :(

Today I am 5 weeks 4 days. Does it really matter though? I may stop feeling any pregnancy symptoms tomorrow! Or may find out on Monday that my blood test showed decreasing hCG. Or may go to my 7w5d ultrasound and discover that there is no baby! Ugh,, think positive!

5w2d: Magic Number

is: 10138. At 5w1d LMP (or 23 dpo) it's a bit high but not molar-high. Another good day (despite a fight with DH). We'll see what MAgic Number Friday brings us.

DH wants to go skiing this weekend and I am not sure (although that's not what the fight was about). I was all for it first but then I saw a picture on my friend's broken leg (already put together and sown in but nevertheless scary) and I started having doubts. Also, the little sheet from the dr's office says in the big letters: "No snow or water skiing." But then I did some research and the most concern is usually being put on the fall. I am a pretty good skier (not great, but pretty good) and I don't usually fall. I haven't had a fall even once at least the last two seasons. Plus, that early (<12 weeks) the baby is all cosied up behind pelvic bone so no fall can really harm it. And I would be staying off the black or even blue if necessary, just green trails for me! My biggest concern is that IF I fall and break a leg (or anything else for that matter) they will have to do an x-ray etc.

10 min later:
So I researched the x-rays during pregnancy and it surprisingly turns out that it's not such a big deal. The amount of radiation used in today's x-ray machines is very small, plus, if they know you are pregnant, they will put an apron on your belly that will protect the fetus.

We are going skiing! :)

As for the symptoms: boobs - can barely touch them. Tired - slept almost 8h and already sleepy around noon. Nauseous when hungry. And bloated, since BEFORE breakfast.

5w1d: I think I found HIM

The Best Doctor On Earth, that is. If after having two miscarriages you were pregnant again (5w1d), and on the first visit your doctor said: "Come in any time for a blood work or conversation, whenever you feel you need to!", wouldn't you love him/her? Well, that's what my new doctor said. He also suggested another B/W at the end of the week (I had first done today) and U/S and OB check mid-month. IF not bleeding. If bleeding occurs - call and come in immediately. So I am going back for the B/W this Friday, and for the U/S on Friday three weeks from now. I will be 7w5d then so we should see a big bean and a strong HB. Fingers crossed.

I also had my acupuncture today. My pulse is still VERY weak. Doc said that it may be because of the pregnancy; whatever energy and blood is created by the acu and herbs, is being "spent on the pregnancy." That was actually my idea too. I am to continue the Ten Flavor and Five Ancestors, and now come in for treatment only once a week. He also put two needles in my face today, for cleansing the sinuses (I have been congested due to a cold for the last 10 days or so). My nose already feels better. :)

Another good news is that I am still at 158 lbs!! Well, that's 7 lbs more than when I got pregnant first time a year and a half ago. But after two miscarriages and the 9 weeks of chemo, I still think I am in a good place. Plus, I haven't worked out for almost two weeks! I am so glad that I didn't gain anything during this time. I was worried that I have already gained at least a couple of pounds and I will have to start with loosing it. And I know I shouldn't do that now, when I am pregnant.

All in all, good day today. I hope my hood mood lasts another two and a half weeks, until the U/S! And I really hope it's not going to get messed up by the B/W results tomorrow!

4w2d: Mood swings? You must be joking!

If mood swings are a pregnancy symptom, maybe I'm having twins! At the very moment I am writing this, I am so happy I can barely contain myself. I am so happy I wanna scream that I am going to have a baby! Just a couple of hours ago I had this weird feeling that this pregnancy will not be successful but the next one will be. I was calm and content, but with this weird feeling. An hour before that I almost cried squeezing the heck out of my boobs as they seemed just slightly less sore than this morning. Mood Swings is my middle name!

4w1d

Here we go again. I just read my posts from July/August, at 4w2d. Is this time going to be different? I truly hope so.

Last Saturday (Christmas Day) was the first time ever that I got lightheaded during any of my pregnancies. I almost passed out in the church, felt so dizzy and weak. My BBs are also pretty darn sore, which is very reassuring. I keep touching them at least every 5 minutes. I hope noone is observing me here at work or they will think I am some perv! lol! I also have AF-like cramps here and there. Not much, but noticeable.

I do feel good about this pregnancy. I know bad thoughts will come but I hope I will be able to overcome them. Third time is a charm; I will hold my baby in September or maybe even earlier!

BTW, I read somewhere something that made me feel really positive. One girl on the board believes that with multiple miscarriages it is one and the same baby soul that is trying to get to our world, only in different times and different pregnancies. I thought it was very nice. It made the loss be a little less of a loss, just postponing. So I have decided that if we have a girl, we will name her Nora, the name we picked when I was pregnant the first time. Oh baby Nora, I love you already! We still don't have a name for the boy though.

On a different note, our bathroom is not ready yet. It was supposed to be ready by last Thursday or Friday, before Christmas. But it wasn't. I knew it wouldn't and insisted on doing some most crucial things, like installing the toilet and sink. The toilet got installed (thank goodness we don't have to run down two flights of stairs any more) but the sink didn't. Actually the sink is installed but the water is not connected yet. So we wash our hand in super hot or super cold water in the bathtub (the faucet is not installed there yet either). Everything is going so slow. The guy, bless his heart, is working hard but he is such a bad planner! And he refuses to admit that! Whenever I create any kind of plan, he blows it by not showing up for a few days and then the whole plan is out of whack again. It makes me so angry! He also doesn't think before doing. He installed some of the tiles wrong (the ones I didn't give him particular detailed instructions), measured cubbies in the wall wrong and now they are different sizes, installed sink faucet without checking the size of the pipes and now has to struggle to find the fitting. Ugh, it's so frustrating! HE called me this afternoon (after about 5-6 hours of work) that he didn't make much progress because he had to go to Home Depot three times. The Home Depot that is 3 minutes from his home and about 25 minutes from mine! WTF? Can't you measure twice and cut once? Check for everything before you go to Home Depot! Go second time only if you have to. And NEVER go three times, it's a waste of time! Work on something else, something that doesn't require the stuff from HD and pick up the stuff on your way in next day! Out of the 6 hours that he was in my house, about 3 hours were wasted for the HD trips.

Deep breath! It's only a few more days and the bathroom will be done. :)

One more thing. I told one friend, K. They are TTC their first too, just started last month. She is much younger though (she's not even 30 yet!) so I don't expect them to have much trouble. Although she did tell me long time ago, when we both were sort of drunk, that she has some kind of condition (I don't remember what though) that will probably make it quite difficult. I was hoping we would get pregnant before them though (c'mon, we've been trying for 2 years already!) although I really hope she/they won't have to go through any of what I/we have. Hope we both are pregnant at the same time and have babies close to each other. It would make it so much more fun!

Long post today. :) Got to go. Meeting friends for dinner tonight. It's actually DH's former roommate who is getting married on September 17th in Boston, MA. If all things go right, we won't be able to go. Or at least I won't. But DH said he wouldn't leave me with a 2-week old by myself, he is such sweetheart! I better go because he called me already and is probably waiting for me by the elevators! :)

3w3d: Not neccessary Big and Fat but hopefully still Positive

I got a second temp jump this morning, at 10 dpo. Last time I got preggo in July, I got one at 11 dpo. So I decided to test even though it is early.

I only had a cheapo tests and I am not sure how accurate they are. I got what I wouldn't call a Big and Fat but it's probably still a Positive. :) Last month I remember testing too, just in case, and I saw what looked kind of like a line, but not really. This one is different, but I am still unsure. It is very faint. Plus, I saw it pretty much after the first minute and since the instructions said to wait 5, I am thinking it may be just how the test is, again.



I haven't even told dh yet because I don't want to get his hopes up. I have been feeling nauseous throughout the day yesterday and today. My bb hurt but they've been hurting since before O, so that's no indicator. I was also a bit dizzy last night, but I got my acupuncture treatment yesterday and it's for increasing amount and circulation of blood, so the dizziness is a likely side effect.

Added at 5PM:
Couldn't wait and went to CVS to get a digital. I'm officially preggo again! I'm only 3w3d; long time to the end of the first trimester...

Confused. Body and soul, confused.

My last cycle was 29 days with O on day 18 and a 11-day luteal phase. I am on CD 8 today and I already got a + OPK! I got my regular period a week from yesterday so I am 99% sure I am not pregnant. I even took a HPT on Saturday, as we had a party that night and I wanted to make sure I can drink. And it was negative, I think. It was this cheap-o test and I did see a second line but it was so faint I assumed it was an evap line. But now, this OPK is definitely +. So my question is, what is more probable, that I am preggo after a regular period and almost negative HPT? Or that I am having a surge and will O on day 11? I think the latter. My temps are somewhere in between pre- and post O so that's no help, really. I guess it's time to BD again!

I really hope it's just me O early this month. Not that I don't want to be preggo, I do, I do so very much! And the timing would be the best possible! I really really would like to be! But on the other hand, I got totally wasted at my party on Saturday (knowing that I wasn't preggo) and I really don't think it would be good for the baby. :/

Oh, I almost forgot! I decorated the house for Xmas! It looks beautiful and I wanted to post a picture. So here is my living room:



The curtain things and the pillows are from Poland. :) And I really love the tree lights reflection on the guitar!