It's 6:57 am, the U/S is at 8. It's dark and rainy. Sad weather, crying for our baby?
I can't even pray anymore. Since last September. I feel that I need to take whatever is given to me, I have nothing to say. Even now, while I am typing it, I see no point in typing it - isn't it obvious? We have nothing to say. It's God's will. All I can do now is put my head down, go to the ultrasound, and receive bad news. And cry. The weather is crying already.
I feel sick, like I'm going to throw up. But it's not morning sickness, it's the stress. Please be 8:30 already!
I am numb inside. If we get bad news, I don't think I am going to cry at all. Tears may come down my face but I won't cry.
It's 7.15, time to go.
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